Friday, January 28, 2011

Can't Live Without Em

Family is a bit of a theme for me at the moment....for so many reasons. Christmas (a traditional time for family) has been and gone for another year, I've had a visit from my Mum and Dad in early January (which is never long enough),
our move to Canberra has been fantastic for our family life with activities like toboganning, bike-riding, go for walks along the many walk/bike ways of Canberra, a 'semi' bushwalk through Tidbinbilla reserve (it's a sealed path all the way through the sanctuary) and trips to new places like Batemans Bay, and today is the anniversary of my little brother's life. I know technically, that should read death, but death is so morbid.
He's been gone from us for 15 years today and if I let myself dwell on that awful day, the pain of his loss is as raw now as it was all those years ago. So I choose something different. I choose to celebrate his crazy, hyperactive and hilarious life. I choose to not allow the past to always dictate my present and my future. I choose to love him and miss him but not to dwell on what might have been (I know he would have made an awesome Uncle for Ayla and then Ayla would have been spoilt with 2 Uncles to dote on her). can't live with em and you can't live without em. :)


S said...

I am listening...

Robync said...

I read this yesterday, Landen's anniversary and the tears came so hard I was unable to write anything.
Your words of wisdom make me so proud to think that you are my daughter, (sometimes my mother).
Your positive energy gives you those glorious moments of past and reflection as it should be.
I grieve so deeply that the pain in my heart shuts all thoughts down, A mother's love, what can I say, except that your words help me to remember. Love you mum xxx